When you experience a feeling of disappointment, it comes from an expectation that was knowingly or unknowingly birthed within you at some point in your life. In the case of a sale that hasn’t (or possibly won’t) go the way your mind ( or sales projections) had planned, how do you remain detached from the outcome and in a neutral state? Let’s first look into expectation and why we attach ourselves to a future that hasn’t happened.
Success without attachment
It is possible to be successful in your career and in your personal life, and operate with no expectations. Let’s begin by understanding why expectation exists, and then clear its root cause, permanently. The result of doing so? You’ll approach all sales or other opportunities with a shifted perspective and effortlessly open the door for other opportunities that are for the highest good of all.
We get triggered because of preexisting Fears
As an Intuitive Leadership Coach the core of my teachings is to help clear deep rooted, dis-empowering belief systems, and guide you towards success in every facet of life. All with a dramatically shifted perspective
Intention guides us. Intent is what is.
Let’s take the example of wanting/hoping/wishing to close a sale and meet a critical deadline. This attachment to an outcome that hasn’t happened is rooted in fear, which has only one result, and that is to invite other experiences of fear. After all, Fear begets Fear and this instantly creates a distance between you and your goal. This principle is also true for our thoughts.
Since everything is energy, our thoughts and words carry a resonance of energy that either invites or repels particular experiences. You might even notice this pattern of fear seeping through other aspects of your life. After all, there is no ‘work version’ of you, and a ‘non-work version’ of you. You are energy and that same energy is brought into all your day to day experiences. The attachment to outcome at work will translate into attachments and expectations in your personal life as well.
Let’s get back to the example of the sale you hoped would close – When you project thoughts or engage in conversations based on the fear that the sale may not close, your mind is stepping into that reality which you are slowly manifesting. Remember, thoughts become things. These habitual thought patterns slowly create the next frames of your life, whether you consciously realize it or not. Negative thoughts add layers of fear between you and the desired outcome, which is the reason sudden delays or changes in the client’s direction can suddenly occur. These delays are not punishment, they are purely lessons that have been energetically invited onto your path by you. The purpose is to become aware of them to clear the core belief that you are identifying with.
STEP 1: Face the Fear
Our natural state is that of joy / neutrality. When we are triggered with emotion (happiness, anger, depression, or any belief, expectation) it is because they already reside within us, and in some cases have been there for most of our life. In the case of a negative belief, once it is cleared we no longer need to face those lessons, and in turn our life becomes more harmonious. In short, less effort is put into your life, and instead life becomes a series of actions that are inspired and that flow.
If we peel back the layers and look into the belief of ”needing to close the sale”, it is triggered from a number of potential deep Fears that you could be holding onto. Here are some examples: Fear of being fired; Fear of not earning the bonus; Fear of poverty; Fear of not being respected by your peers; Shame; Fear of change; Fear of not succeeding; Fear of not having enough money; Fear of success; Fear of missing out; Fear of losing; Fear of being your authentic self.
The birth of Fear
Let’s go even deeper and try to understand how the fears listed above were birthed within you. The deepest negative core beliefs that will birth Fear are Self-Judgement and Self-Acceptance. Once those are cleared within you there will be a re-birth of sorts, where your immediate reality and your perception of all day to day experiences, will be dramatically shifted.
STEP 2: Clear the Fears – Judgement & Acceptance
Firstly, it is important to understand that all Fears are of the ego-mind and not of the Higher-Self (Higher-Mind/ Soul). Fears are an illusion. Quite simply, they are not real. Our mind, on the other hand has convinced us to believe-in and identify with them.
Here are 3 quick tips you can do today
TIP 1: Stop speaking about the sale ( or lack thereof ) to your colleagues, friends, family. By speaking about an outcome that has not happened ( positive or negative outcome) you impose expectation and invite your ego to govern. You also invite others in your environment who also resonate at the frequency of fear, to also be triggered. When we innocently ‘vent’ to our friends/colleagues, their well-meaning advice is often based on their own experience and triggers. This in turn keep all parties stuck in the loop of ego.
TIP 2: Shift your language. Instead of ” I need that sale to close” – Begin to detach from the outcome by practicing the following by either writing and/or verbal to: ”I am impressed/pleased with the work I put into this sale. I am curious to see its outcome”. Now, imagine the outcome as if it has already happened. A step further would be to write the desired outcome in detail. When you write each word, do so slowly and with focused intent. Visualize the scenario vividly. Feel-into it. The most important part is to now Let it go. Move on completely to another opportunity, hobby, activity etc. without placing any thought into the desired outcome.
TIP 3: Radical Trust. Trust that the outcome, whatever it is, will only be for the greater good. *The greater-good is not defined by duality, i.e.: good-bad; closed-deal/lost-deal; or even in dollar figures.